


Peter Steals Twitters Heart

by draig_asec



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: All Cannons are sort of mixed together or completely ignored, Aunt May Being Amazing In The Background, Avengers Family, Everyone Loves Peter Parker, Everyone is Queer, F/F, F/M, Flash Thompson Redemption, Gen, Harley Keener is a Bad Influence, Harry Osborn Is a Good Bro, M/M, Multi, Other, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Twitter Fic, What exactly is cannon?, i don’t know her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24192280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/draig_asec/pseuds/draig_asec
Summary: Wow another Twitter fic that no one but me wantedLook I miss Spider man guysWebhead @spider_manofficialBro’s is it gay to want to kiss your bully?>Fuck Parker Lives @emjayYes that’s pretty gay>>Webhead @spider_manofficialNo one asked you>>>Fuck Parker Lives @emjayTechnically you asked the public and I am a member of the public
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker/Flash Thompson, Harry Osborn & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Shuri, Pepper Potts/James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Flash Thompson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 296
Collections: Grays fave Irondad fics





	1. Chapter 1

Webhead @spider_manofficial  
Bro’s is it gay to want to kiss your bully?  
>Fuck Parker Lives @emjay  
Yes that’s pretty gay  
>>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
No one asked you  
>>>Fuck Parker Lives @emjay  
Technically you asked the public and I am a member of the public

Webhead @spider_manofficial  
Bro’s is it gay to want to kiss your bully?  
>spidey notice me @spiderfan  
Wait?!? ARE YOU GAY?!?!?  
>>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
BI BI BI

Webhead @spider_manofficial  
Bro’s is it gay to want to kiss your bully?  
>CEO Pepper Potts @pvpotts  
Please stop giving my PR department nightmares spidey

Webhead @spider_manofficial  
Bro’s is it gay to want to kiss your bully?  
>You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
Not necessarily but you deserve better  
>>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
But Mr Stark he’s so pretty  
>>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
And a B U L L Y  
>>>>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
….. He’s not that bad….  
>>>>>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
And he’s kinda hot tho

Flashback @ethompson  
Spider-Man just came out as bi I can now officially have a chance  
>Abe @aberhamlinclone  
or ya know spiderman could have standards  
>>Betty Boop @midtownsjournalist  
@aberhamlinclone that’s the beat thing you have ever said thank you for existing  
>>>Flashback @ethompson  
U guys are dicks I’m a catch  
>>>>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
Hard to argue with that logic ;)

Fuck Parker Lives @emjay  
Friendly ish reminder Peter Parker is a dumbass and I love him no hetero  
>PBP @beterparkour  
Love you to bitch  
>>Flashback @ethompson  
Why can you say shit like this?  
>>>PBP @beterparkour  
Because your a bully and they are my best friend

HeroFacts @heronews  
Spiderman @spider_manoffical just came out as bisexual!!! Guess it’s safe to say he swings both ways ;)  
>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
1 it’s Spider-Man with a hyphen 2 low hanging fruit mate  
>>HeroFacts @heronews  
IM SORRY FOR THE SPELLING ERROR BUT NOT FOR THE PUN  
>>>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
Your forgiven and I get it puns are important.

Flashback @ethompson  
I have loved two men in my life 1 is spider-man the other hates me  
>Noodle @nedleedles  
Pretty sure spider man would hate you too  
>>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
I don’t hate anyone and SPIDER-MAN

SPIDEY STAN @spideys1fan  
Why does Spiderman keep replying to random teens?  
>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
Because a.) they spell my name wrong like THAT and b.) cause I can  
>>SPIDEY STAN @spideys1fan  
HOLY SHIT I LOVE YOU SPIDEY <3<3<3<3<3<3  
>>>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
I love you too random citizen

Bucket Head @whitewolf  
I live off spite and coffee  
>Webhead @spider_manofficial  
So the secret to living past 100 is drink too much caffeine and be angsty?  
>>Bucket Head @whitewolf  
Yes.

PBP @beterparkour  
I love this angsty old man  
[picture of peter and Bucky in matching onesies holding lucky on a dingy couch where you can vaguely see a disheveled tired looking Clint in the background drinking coffee from the pot]  
>Bucket Head @whitewolf  
Love ya too Peter <3  
>>Clit Butter @themalehawkeye  
You too are adorable <3  
Couldn’t have edited me out tho?  
>>>PBP @beterparkour  
Thank you Uncle Clint! And no

HeroFacts @heronews  
Recently user @beterparkour posted a photos of himself with avengers White Wolf and Hawkguy. According to his bio the user is 17 and has no known relation to the avenger. Who is he? How does he know them?  
>You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
@beterparkour you’re grounded kiddo  
>>PBP @beterparkour  
MR STARK NO :c  
>>>CEO Pepper Potts @pvpotts  
Not for this one tony  
>>>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
Sorry Pepper :c

You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
@beterparkour WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!?  
>PBP @beterparkour  
What needed to be done dad

FuckLabSafety @biggreenandgay  
I just walked into the lab and Tony is crying on the floor wtf happened  
>Bucket Head @whitewolf  
Check his feed  
>>FuckLabSafety @buggreenandgay  
Lmao #IronDad

HeroFacts @heronews  
Is it possible the mystery that is @beterparkour is @tonystark `s secret son????? #IronDad  
>CEO PEPPER @pvpotts  
@tonystark and @beterparkour youre both grounded  
>>PBP @beterparkour  
I’msorrymom

Clit Butter @themalehawkeye  
I can’t believe pepper is crying holy shit  
>PBP @beterparkour  
i mean it wasnt the goal :c  
>>Clit Butter @themalehawkeye  
still epic tho kid we love ya  
>>>PBP @beterparkour  
I love you too!

Fuck Peter Lives @emjay  
@beterparkour so how many avengers have you made cry by calling them family tittles and saying you live them  
>PBP @beterparkour  
All but vision and wanda but she teared up when I called her my bigsister and vision doesn’t have tear ducks  
>>Noodle @nedleedles  
Tear ducks  
>>>Fuck Peter Lives @emjay  
Tear Ducks  
>>>>PBP @beterparkour  
STOP BULLYING ME THATS @ethompsons job  
>>>>>Flashback @ethompson  
I thought we were friends now?  
>>>>>>Fuck Peter Lives @emjay  
Get off my feed with that sapping gay shit

Flashback @ethompson  
For those wondering Peter is cute when he blushes  
>PBP @beterparkour  
pls don’t bully me :c  
>>Flashback @ethompson  
damn boy u sure like to send mixed signals dontcha  
>>>PBP @beterparkour  
:*  
>>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
I don’t approve of this

Tony Stark Can Blast Me Any Day @ironstan  
I always knew Tony Stark was Daddy but now we know he’s also a DAD #IronDad  
>PBP @beterparkour  
He’s a great dad I love him

You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
People need to leave my son alone  
>CEO Pepper @pvpotts  
CALLING HIM YOUR SON DOESNT HELP ANY

HeroFacts @heronews  
Tony Stark has announced that @beterparkour IS in fact his child  
>CEO Pepper @pvpotts  
@tonystark :(

You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
1/?As per my wife’s request I now need to formally announce that no @beterparkour is not my biological or legal child he’s my person intern who just sorta slowly became like family to me and the other avengers  
>You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
2/? Peter started working for me a few yearsa ago he’s a brilliant scientist and a wonderful kid and I love him like a son but we share no relation. Him and his aunt have both became members of the avengers family  
>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
3/3 for anyone curious Peter is currently helping me with several projects including a line of hearing aids and safe water sources and….  
>>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark  
While we originally agreed to keep this bit of information a secret Pepper, Peter and I have decided to announce that after his high school graduation Peter Parker is going to begin the training to takeover Pepper’s Place as CEO of Stark Industries  
>>>>PBP @beterparkour  
Holy shit I just realized this shit is real wtf  
>>>>>Flashback @ethompson  
guess I cant call your internship fake now  
>>>>>>PBP @beterparkour  
You haven’t done that in two years Eugene.  
>>>>>>>Flashback @ethompson  
don’t call me eugene parker  
>>>>>>>>PBP @beterparkour  
so you can call me penis from ages 12 to 16 but I cants call you eugene I see how it is thompson  
>>>>>>>>>Fuck Peter Lives @emjay  
He called you penis cause he had a crush you call him eugene cause you can’t think of a good insult  
>>>>>>>>>>PBP @beterparkour  
What?!?

HeroFacts @herofan  
THE MYSTERY IS REVEALED! The new face of Stark Industies is Peter Parker but now for the real question who are @ethompson and @emjay ?the two seem very close to Parker? Obviously Thompson is is boyfriend but who is emjay  
>noodle @nedleedles  
Me and MJ are peters best friends and Thompson is also a friend now shut it

PBP @beterparkour  
I love you dad @tonystark  
>Bucket Head @whitewolf  
Me and Clint aren’t even at the tower and we both now Tony is crying on the floor now


	2. Chapter 2

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Flashback @ethompson

I- [a picture of Peter from behind sleeping in what is assumed to be Flash’s bed wearing a school sweatshirt and jeans while hugging Flash’s pillow]

>PBP @beterparkour

TAKE THIS DOWN NOW THOMPSON

>>Flashback @ethompson

but … soft?

>>>Noodle @nedleedles

Are we allowed to ask WHY Peter is in your bed?

>>>>Flashback @ethompson

Bro idek 

PBP @beterparkour

So this is love? [picture of him and Harry at around 10 years old wearing matching suits and hugging in May’s living room with Ben behind them smiling]

>Harry Osborn @haroldosbornofficial

How else would one describe a bond THIS strong

>>PBP @beterparkour

HARRY

>>>Harry Osborn @harryosbornofficial

PETER

come cuddle me

>>>>PBP @beterparkour

Come to America. 

>>>>>Harry Osborn @harryosbornofficial

But I can’t:(

>>>>>>PBP @beterparkour

Then no cuddles boarding school bitch

You Know Who I Am @tonystark

Honestly don’t know which one of my children has the worst influence on the others

>Bucket Head @whitewolf

What’d they do now?

>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark

Harley @ofpotatosandguns is here and gave Morgan a Potato fun and him and Peter built a iron suit that shoots glitter for her and now she’s chasing me with both while Harley and Peter are laughing in the lab

>>>Bucket Head @whitewolf

Sounds like Harley is the bad influence 

>>>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark

Morgan asked for the suit Peter and Harley just kept getting worse ideas to build off each other who knows which one planted the idea in her head

>>>>>PBP @beterparkour

You love us 

>>>>>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark

Sadly

Fuck Peter Lives @emjay

Peter Parker is the dumbest Genius I’ve EVER met and i know @ethompson 

>Flashback @ethompson

Should I be offended 

>>PBP @beterparkour 

CAN IT JONES

>>>noodle @nedleedles

And that my friends is how Peter Parker died

Fuck Peter Lives @emjay

[picture of Peter and Flash sleeping while holding hands on the bus after a decathlon meet in freshman year] why don’t we acknowledge this shit was going on even when Flash was bullying Pete

>Betty Boop @midtownjournalist

Because we fear you great goddess

Fuck Peter Lives @emjay

[picture of Peter and Flash sleeping while holding hands on the bus after a decathlon meet in freshman year] why don’t we acknowledge this shit was going on even when Flash was bullying Pete

>Flashback @ethompson 

Because plausible deniability is important to me

Fuck Peter Lives @emjay

[picture of Peter and Flash sleeping while holding hands on the bus after a decathlon meet in freshman year] why don’t we acknowledge this shit was going on even when Flash was bullying Pete

>PBP @beterparkour

cause we dumb and gae

Fuck Peter Lives @emjay

[picture of Peter and Flash sleeping while holding hands on the bus after a decathlon meet in freshman year] why don’t we acknowledge this shit was going on even when Flash was bullying Pete

Abe @aberhamlinclone

You never said we could talk about how gay they were for each other

>Flashback @ethomspon

I’m not gay

>>PBP @beterparkour

Bi*

Fuck Peter Lives @emjay

[picture of Peter and Flash sleeping while holding hands on the bus after a decathlon meet in freshman year] why don’t we acknowledge this shit was going on even when Flash was bullying Pete

>noodle @nedleedles

We do just not in front of the babies 

  
  


PBP @beterparkour

How does one know if they are in a relationship or if they are just really close friends?

>You Know Who I Am @tonystark

The other person/people tell them a few months in?

>>War Machine @rhodeyrhodes

Not everyone is as dumb as you babe

PBP @beterparkour

How does one know if they are in a relationship or if they are just really close friends?

>Fuck Stark Lives @ofpotatosandguns

You seeing someone Peter?

>>PBP @beterparkour

i don’t k n o w

PBP @beterparkour

How does one know if they are in a relationship or if they are just really close friends?

>Fuck Peter Lives @emjay

Just kiss him already 

PBP @beterparkour

How does one know if they are in a relationship or if they are just really close friends?

>Flashback @ethomspon

w o w and i thought we had something special Parker

>>PBP @beterparkour

Do you wanna kiss me?

  
  


Webhead @spider_manofficial

Update: kissing your bully is really n i c e and i highly recommend 

>You Know Who I Am @tonystark

That’s gay Spidey

Flashback @ethompson

I now have a boyfriend yay me

>PBP @beterparkour 

<3

Fuck Stark Lives @ofpotatosandguns

Wow I really missed my chance

HeroFacts @herofan

WAIT I JUST GOT ON TODAY WHO TF IS SPIDEY KISSING AND WHO THE FUCK IS @ofpotatosandguns

>Spidey Notice Me @spidey1fan

Um if you pay attention it’s very clear who Spiderman is kissing and I think they’re another kid Tony Stark adopted

>>Webhead @spider_manofficial

SPIDER-MAN***** and yeah Harley is AwEsOmE and another kid Mr Stark acquired over the years

HeroFacts @herofan

WAIT I JUST GOT ON TODAY WHO TF IS SPIDEY KISSING AND WHO THE FUCK IS @ofpotatosandguns

> Fuck Stark Lives @ofpotatosandguns

Tony broke into my garage years ago and we just slowly became a family 

>>HeroFacts @herofan

HOLY SHIT WHY DID TONY STARK BREAK INTO YOUR GARAGE I NEED TO KNOW

>>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark

Classified information 

>>>>War Machine @rhodeyrhodes

Cause my mans an idiot

>>>>>CEO Pepper @pvpotts

Because he’s an idiot who gives his address to terrorist

>>>>>>Fuck Stark Lives @ofpotatosandguns

Damn even your spouses be dragging you tones

>>>>>>>You Know Who I Am @tonystark

Pls never speak like that again

Bucket Head @whitewolf

Wait are we dragging Peter or Tony today for being dumbasses because honestly I’ve been trashing Clint all day

>The Better Hawkeye @hawkeye

It’s always trashing Clint time

>>Bucket Head @whitewolf

True


End file.
